This is an article written and directed at other Dommes. Submissives are welcome to share their opinions on this topic as well.
Why do Dommes attack other Dommes?
I do not think most dommes realize why they do what they do. The following is 100% personal opinion that many may disagree with.
I believe that a lot of dommes attack and lash out at other dommes due to jealousy and fear. When you lash out for silly or far-fetched reasons, it ultimately makes you appear weak and insecure. If you are that insecure with yourself that you lash out, start fights, rumors, and more - you probably aren't strong enough or comfortable with yourself to the point where you should be a Pro-Domme.
Appearance is really everything on the internet. As a domme, you want to appear strong. You want to appear confident. Lashing out against others may make you feel as if you are coming off as strong and confident, but to me and many others, it makes you appear quite the opposite.
New ladies seem to be the biggest target. If you think about it in terms of, for example, a company that makes a product. When a new company marketing a similar product comes along, they will want to attempt to stamp out the competition. We are not companies, corporations, a material possession. We are human beings. We are women. A lot of us also believe in feminism or female supremacy. Even if you don't follow these streams of belief, what is it that you really have against new and/or established dommes?
- Fear of losing money
- Fear of competition
- Appearing better
This boils down to insecurity. You don't have to like every domme out there, just like you don't like everyone you meet in your life. Don't box yourself in with preconceptions that every domme is going to come along and steal your profit. Life is too short.
I am in no way saying that you shouldn't feel free to disagree with other dommes. I've found myself disagreeing with dommes before. I disagree with certain beliefs, viewpoints, etc. just like with anyone else. I'm not going to say, "oh it's okay because she's a domme and I respect and love her just because of that." Nah.
I enjoy talking to new and established dommes. I love learning from each other, exchanging silly stories, and building strong friendships. I also love exploring domination with close friends in my real life! I was so happy to be able to introduce my best friend to the online domination world. We used to live together, and we had so much fun dominating submissives together, laughing about our experiences, and bonding even more because of it. Right now I have another friend who I've talked a lot about what I do online. She has been so interested, lately I have been having her come over so I can show her exactly what it is, and she is currently planning on building a website, filming clips and getting involved. It's so much more fun when you have a companion (or more than one) who can relate to the experiences that you have in this particular aspect of your life. Especially since this is, really, a very small niche. It's the same in most aspects of life. You get along with people who share the same interests that you do because you can talk about those things and relate to each other. I am a writer and I have friends that are writers. I am a musician and I have friends who are musicians. I am a domme and I have friends who are dommes. All of these are different large aspects of our lifestyles, and we use these parts of our lives to identify ourselves with.
One of the most common assaults on dommes is the "fake" accusation. Sometimes this may be true, other times it may not be. I am on a website (findoms.com) where all of the women are cam-verified. It wasn't always this way. Before they started making cam verification mandatory, I recall being accosted by several women on the site for various reasons. This has never happened since they made it a "cam verified mistress only" site. I think this has a lot to with the fact that it has been really successful in weeding out ladies who aren't truly interested in the fetish, and ladies who are using fake pictures (and even I have been guilty of that, which you can read about here). -------------(bruce, it would be nice to link my article "the masked domme" here)-------------------- In all honesty, I visit the community more for the interaction and conversations I have with the ladies on there. Having a sub serve Me as a result of being on the website is simply a bonus.
In closing, in such a small and misunderstood community, it is nice to be able to feel empowered and supported through the friendship and/or respect of others who are following the same calling. We should all think before we speak out publicly, especially when it is at the expense of someone else.
Princess Chloe
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