Firstly, I’d like to say that I’m happy to be back and writing weekly columns for the dose!
I took some time away to focus on one particular slave, and for some other personal reasons as well.
Recently I've been getting back into the swing of things (doing sessions, accepting new potential slaves, releasing new content, etc), and I’ve been hit with endless waves of inspiration of things I’d like to write about, which is what motivated Me to re-start My column.
Since it’s been so long since I’ve written for the dose, I thought I would share some of what I’ve learned over the past 4+ years since I started dominating online. I’ve definitely grown up some, gained new insights, and evolved both as a domme and as a person. I touched on some of this in My first post on My new diary, but there is so much more that I did not say there. So - here is the (condensed) story of My history online as a Domme.
I’ll start from the beginning. I can remember stumbling around the internet one evening when I came upon financial domination for the first time. I don’t recall how I got there - a trail of links upon links, leading Me to some woman’s page claiming to be a financial domme. I was curious and started looking around some more. I’ve always had a dominant side of My personality. Many people in My life can attest to this fact.
My initial thoughts and reactions were something like this:
“What the… is this for real?
… Are these chicks making this up?
… No way, they have to be getting naked on cam or doing something like that…
… Holy fuck, if this is legit, I need to get into this!”
Skepticism aside, it sounded perfect for Me.
However, I had My reservations. Firstly, I knew that I never wanted to get naked for men online. Nothing against the ladies who do (do what empowers you). It wasn’t because I was self-conscious - I’m not. I love My body. The idea of creepy dudes staring at Me naked online grosses Me out. It’s just not for Me. When I first discovered findom and online domination, I came across what a lot would consider “insta’s” - women and girls just plain doing it all wrong. I initially thought that nudity had to be involved. I was also finding these womens ads scattered beside full fledged phone sex listings.
My second reservation was using My photos at all in connection to online domination. I have many grand life goals. I don’t dream big, I dream out of this world.
I was in school at the time I discovered findom and also had a paid internship. I worried that if I put myself out there it could come back to haunt Me later, or close doors on big opportunities to come.
So instead of jumping right in, I decided to test the waters.
I used pictures of a model, (an incredibly sweet and wonderful girl who was fully aware of everything I did, thought it was awesome, was paid, and also got wishlist items. She was bummed when I started doing My own thing, and we still talk)
Armed with fake pictures and no idea what to expect, I began to get slaves messaging Me.
I can still remember the first tribute I ever got. I was laying on My bed with My laptop in front of Me. At the time I was living in Oregon. A few friends were over in the living room playing video games. I’d told them I was going to attempt to give this whole financial domination thing a go after I checked and saw someone had actually bought My Yahoo ID, and they had wished Me luck.
The first sub to contact Me on Yahoo sent Me a message asking how much I’d like as a tribute. My brain raced for a moment - I had no idea what amount to say.
“Send Me $500, right now!”
To My utter surprise, his answer was, “yes, right away Princess.”
A minute later, I had recieved $500 in My Paypal account.
My heart began to beat out of My chest with excitement and I was nearly bouncing up on My bed. The guy immediately after sending said something like, “oh my god, I can’t believe I’m doing this again, I have to go,” and signed off. Just like that. Five minutes and five hundred dollars.
I sprung from My bed and ran into the living room, shouting to My friends (word for word), “you guys, it worked! Some guy just gave Me $500 because I told him to!”
They were all surprised and congratulated Me on My newfound money making venture.
Side note: I’ve since also learned how jealous other people can be when you tell them you’re a financial domme - or when they’re over and a pile of boxes are delivered that stack almost to the ceiling. I’ve learned to keep what I do private, except with those who I am closest with, and even then, sometimes what you learn about people can be quite surprising. I could definitely write more on this topic later.
From that day forward I continued to do online financial domination, as well as keeping cuckold slaves, sissies, blackmail, chastity, and, well, you get the idea. It took Me around a year before I made the final decision that I was 100% sure that this was something I love, want to do, and was willing to take the risk of not only using My real photos/videos, but coming out publicly about My experiences.
I’ve had the pleasure of reliving that first heart-pounding rush of excitement from financial drainings more times than I can count. I’ve also found that there are other fetishes that I greatly and genuinely enjoy.
For instance, I never thought locking up and taking control of someone's computer could be so damn fun (bonus when it’s paired with financial domination and chastity).
When I did My first Teamviewer session, the sub clearly did not believe it was My first. I know My way around a computer. I could write a book on teamviewer domination (but in the meantime, I’m working on teamviewerdomination.com which will be out soon. Sign up to be notified of updates.).
I also remember the first time I locked a slave in chastity. That was also when I learned how serious the decisions I made could be, and the full extent of how they affected My slaves.
I’m all for making a slave suffer, but not getting them to the point where they’re in the garage about to take a saw to their chastity device. I love fucking with them, even causing physical pain, but not on that level (don’t worry, the sub sawed nothing off and its genitals are intact as far as I know - not that he really needs or uses them).
Actually, My first chastity, TeamViewer, cuckold, and complete control experiences came wrapped up into one trippy experience with a particular slave whom I’ve written of in the past. I monitored everything he did every single day (which is a whole lot of work, let Me tell you). I had him under TeamViewer lockdown, locked in a chastity device (with a combo lock that only I knew the combination to), financial slavery, an extreme foot fetish and, well, lots more. That experience taught Me how incredibly time-consuming owning, training. controlling and conditioning a slave can really be.
I also learned that it’s irresponsible to be unavailable in case of emergencies (remember that cute little example earlier?) Controlling another’s life is a huge responsibility. I initially took it rather lightly, but don’t anymore.
When I published My article where I came out about everything publicly - The Masked Domme on the Domme Dose, I’ll admit it: I was nervous about the kind of reception it would get. It’s such a huge taboo in this scene. I also think that others can learn from My experiences. Perhaps it will help women who are thinking of putting themselves out there publicly as a domme for the first time to seriously evaluate whether or not it’s for them. (I’m not encouraging the use of fake photos, by the way. I also think it’s disgusting when they are stolen from some poor girl’s Facebook page). Remember folks - everything you post on the internet will be there forever. Once it’s up, you have no control over what happens to it (and we dommes just love having our control).
I had come out to all of My slaves personally before posting the article, and was pleasantly surprised when all of them continued to serve Me as Me - the full, real Me. I was also amazed when I was met with not harsh words, criticism and hate from other dommes/readers/subs, but support, understanding, and admiration.
I started to become uncomfortable with not putting Myself out there fully. I’d started to become annoyed every time someone praised the photos I was using, saying that they were the most beautiful in the world, etc. I became frustrated. This really hit home when I began to take on longer-term slaves. There were a few whom I felt a chemistry with on some level. I didn’t want to be “fake.” I wanted to be worshipped completely by My slaves. I battled with this for several months, almost coming out on multiple occasions, before I slowly began coming out to them each individually.
Something interesting happened as I did this. Nearly all of them reacted in similar ways. They all wanted to know why. When I explained, they showed understanding - something I hadn't even thought they were capable of. They gawked at My beauty. None of them stopped serving Me at that time. (I’ve since parted ways with most, but am still in contact with a great number of them), and some of them still continue to serve Me. Mostly they come and go. Come weak with wallets in hand, then leave for several months after driving themselves into debt and what have you.
I think that most of the slaves I came out to (and I’ve been told this by newer slaves) could understand because they did the same thing. I didn’t know the identity of many of My slaves - I still don’t know the identity of most of the submissives who serve Me on occasion, buy My clips, tribute Me, etc… A lot of them fear being exposed for their fetishes, or of their family finding out. They are afraid that if their co workers, boss, or family members find out what they do online/in private, their lives will be ruined forever and no one will ever talk to them.
There is a difference in how friends and family receive a domme who’s coming out and a sub who’s coming out.
When I came out to My mom about where I was getting all My money/stuff without a job, I also gifted her an iPad. A financial slave would probably be giving the gift of bankruptcy.
What I found even more fascinating, is that many found it arousing that I had been lying to them. After I came out, I sent mass mails on Niteflirt with links to the Masked Domme article and pages with My real photos.
In the past I’ve mentioned how My friend and I drained one sub of over 20k in a weekend. I kid you not, the same sub (as recently as four days ago) still wants to tribute to the fake profile and have Me drain his wallet there. He’s not the only one.
Side Note: I’ve had a lot of fun dominating subs with friends, and initially I wanted all of My girlfriends to do it with Me… that’s not always the best idea. But sometimes it turns super awesome! The girl I’m referring to above is one of My best friends, and we would still be dominating together if we hadn’t moved away from each other. Our wallet drainings together were epic and a freaking blast.
I had planned to abandon the old Niteflirt account… and I did for a long time. Then I logged in on a whim one day to find a balance of $2,500 in My account, and messages from subs wanting Me to continue draining them there (fully knowing of My true identity).
Even the sub whom I had locked in chastity/TeamViewer found it to be an erotic and humbling experience. He told Me that he had been doing this for 15 years and had never felt so manipulated and headfucked.
I have a sadistic and manipulative side of Me, but I am, like all of us, multi-faceted. Coming out to those slaves and being met with understanding was like taking a huge lungful of fresh air while simultaneously having weights lifted off of My shoulders. I felt free and independent, as though I was finally doing what I truly wanted to be doing.
I went into domination initially with an attitude of not giving a fuck about anyone but Myself, but as I went along I found that yeah, I do care. Caring is human, and I believe it makes Me a better domme.
Since then, I have never regretted My decision to embrace My dominant side. Certainly, I’ve had My ups and downs, but all in all, it has changed My life in incredible ways.
So - moving on, I thrust Myself into a new chapter of My Domme life. (My Domme Life sounds like a Lifetime series. I just made Myself laugh. This was the best word usage I could think of.)
I began filming clips and doing cam sessions. I was constantly taking photos of Myself, and perhaps becoming more narcissistic than ever.
Until then, subs had found Me via Google, topsites, and predominantly Niteflirt. Now they were finding Me from all over the internet, especially My clip stores.
I’ll admit - the reason for some of My absences has been due in part to being overwhelmed by the number of IM’s/messages I’d be getting any time I’d login to Yahoo. Sometimes it was just too much to keep up with.
This is why I have become increasingly selective of who I allow to serve Me. However, I also enjoy having many to pick and choose from. It’s all about finding that balance.
I have also encountered many more types of submissives/fetishists than I did in that first year. Initially, I mostly attracted money slaves (or at least, money slaves coupled with something else. The rest usually didn’t speak English and wanted to serve for free). When I began to do cam sessions and clips it brought in a whole other breed of sub that I didn’t care to do sessions with. (Speaking of different breeds, I shudder when I get some weird ass request from Ebanned, because it almost always involves shit. I don’t deal in that).
I don’t want to be objectified. This is part of why I am a Domme - I love connecting with My own inner-power as a woman, and wielding that power. I’ll never tolerate so-called “slaves” who think they’re entitled to any say in what I do, or (ugh) try to tell Me how they want Me to get them off. Gross.
This is one of the reasons that I have begun to identify most with the title “Goddess.” It is a title I feel Myself being drawn to more and more. For the past 4+ years I’ve mostly referred to Myself as Princess. Goddess feels more natural and fits who I am as a person. Not just the way I dominate, but the way I live My life, and how I’ve shaped My own reality. It reflects how I desire to be treated and worshipped as a divine woman who is untouchable and out-of-this-world amazing, with dreamlike qualities that mesmerize, seduce, enchant, but with strong overtones of fear and harshness.
My identification with this title began to develop about a year ago. My slave, denied, has always referred to Me as Goddess.
As part of this shift in perspective, I have become excited with hypnosis, brainwashing and mind control. I love psychological domination, and have had very successful results with the recorded hypnosis sessions I’ve been releasing. My most recent hypno-file was designed to give slaves without a foot fetish a fetish for My feet. I now have slaves begging to worship My feet who never before had any interest in feet.
I’ve always preferred to dominate in a psychological mind-infiltrating way. I’ve found hypnosis to be a highly effective tool, and I’ve got a natural talent (as well as an arsenal of information stored in My brain from the dozens of books I’ve read on the topic, as well as courses I’ve completed). Hypnosis is an art form, and I approach it as one.
My slave, denied, has also been a factor in this transition. As I mentioned at the beginning, I’ve been focusing on one slave for a while - that slave is denied. I named him that because when he first contacted Me he only asked to pay $75/week for Me to tell him whether or not he was or wasn’t allowed an orgasm. He was constantly denied… and still is.
I’ve always enjoyed giving written assignments to slaves. Some will try to get it over with as quickly as possible, others will really think about it and try to do the best that they can. I feel that the way a slave manages writing assignments reflects their commitment to being a slave.
I began having denied send Me daily emails. Each day of the week had (and still has) a set of writing assignments, which change as I desire.
I’ve never seen a slave take to these types of tasks like denied did. Around the same time each day, I receive his daily email. They’re nearly always well articulated and I can tell he puts a lot of thought and a lot of himself into each of them.
A year later he has never missed a daily email. There was only one time that I recall he was late with one, but he had given Me prior notice a week in advance that he was going to be busy that day.
It’s rare to find a slave that is capable of such consistency, and it’s an ability I value highly. I could set a clock to his emails and weekly tribute (although not gifts as he loves surprising Me with them - which I adore. One of My favorite ways to start the morning is to wake up to an email containing a list of the things purchased for Me while I slept).
A completely random note about denied. He does not have a financial fetish, yet loves sending Me extravagant gifts. This is directly out of one of his daily emails to Me:
“i've always loved giving gifts, but in a relationship between equals there has to be a balance, so i've kept it down to birthdays and Christmas. With You i can give gifts all the time. i love that.”
I intend on taking denied as My fully owned slave and having an accompanying collaring ceremony. It will actually be My first collaring ceremony, and I am looking forward to it.
In other news, I have a brand new site and a brand new diary. I’m constantly releasing new stuff, so make sure to keep up with Me on twitter.
I am also looking forward to continuing to do new hypnosis audio sessions. I plan on releasing a new one at least once a week, and have been designing an entire hypnosis slave training series.
I am also beginning to film clips again, which I’m sure many of you will get all weak and excited about. You can put in your custom request here.
I am also accepting new potential slaves (for the first time in quite a while!) I am taking slave applications here. However, I expect any applicant to be highly familiar with who I am, among many other things. I’m very selective about who I allow to serve Me regularly.
I’ve fit a lot into this article. I still feel there is so much I want to say about topics I’ve only brushed upon here.
As I wrote this I would be reminded of hilarious stories and memories that I would love to tell. For the sake of editing, and trying to keep this piece cohesive, I omitted a lot.
My intention for this piece was to give an overview of My past experience, and to give you an idea where I am now and what’s in store for the future.
I look forward to continuing to elaborate on some of what I’ve touched upon in this article, and a whole lot more - and I’m happy to do it on the dose :)
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