This was originally posted exclusively as part of My column, “The Intricacies of Domination” for the Domme Dose. The original can be found here.
This one may be a little controversial to many, but it is also something that I need to come out with.
When I first discovered financial domination/online domination in general, I knew that I had found something that I needed to do. I spent months just looking at other Dommes websites, getting an idea for it… And the more I did it, the more I felt a strange connection to it. I wanted to do it very badly, and had no idea where to start.
There was just one problem, or, apprehension. I was completely unsure of whether or not I wanted to put MY face out there on the internet for everyone to see. I’m a writer. I have written several books, have written for newspapers, had My own radio show, am a musician that plays live shows, etc. There’s a chance My family could run across My website, publishers, etc. Was that a chance I really wanted to take? My apprehension wasn’t in the least about confidence. I truly believe that I am perfect, amazing, beautiful, etc. This seemed to be more of a life-decision. Once something is on the internet, it is there… forever. What if after a few months I realized that I didn’t want to do it anymore? What if I realized I wanted to do something really prominent with MY life? What were the pros and cons?
So I decided to use fake pictures (My pictures are NOT fake, by the way, and I cam verify for everyone who buys My yahoo ID), along with a fake name (My name *is* really Chloe, if you were wondering). I created a character, made her up completely. Her name wasPrincess Katie Love.
I was able to keep that up for almost an entire year (and easily could have much longer, maybe even indefinitely). I found a model that I really liked, we talked on the phone often, she would text pictures to Me whenever I asked her to, we had the same piercings, both had blue hair at the time… It seemed like a good match, and it was, all things considered. I got really good at pretending to be someone else. I even cam verified. I’m an amazing artist, and was able to make a tattoo stencil of her wrist tattoo and put it on My wrist. So I’d turn on the cam, flip it off and they would see the tattoo, assume it was the girl in the pictures… no problem! (Damn, you subs really can be stupid sometimes, ha!). I kept it up for a long time. Lying to all the subs who contacted Me.
Despite enjoying everything I was doing, there was still a void. All the subs would endlessly praise how beautiful “I” was. How perfect “My” body, “My features” were. They worshipped “Me” and built shrines. I wanted this, but I wanted it for ME, not the false image that I had projected onto the computer screen and into the findom scene.
It was at this point of frustration that I made My decision. I said to Myself, “I am a Domme, a real Domme. I am not a fake, and I want to be seen as such. I want to be worshipped as My true self.”
However, it was very difficult for Me to know where to start from there. It was difficult getting Katies name out there in the beginning, and it took a while to build up a base of slaves. I also had found several slaves that I did not want to leave behind when I cast away the name of Katie Love and allowed Myself to unleash My true self onto the internet.
How would they take it? Were they here because of My intellect and My mind, or was it just the pictures and the body that they were interested in? It took Me a long time to decide what to do. Should I simply come out on the website (katiefindom.com) or should I just tell a few individual slaves?
I chose the latter. One by one, I got on webcam and announced to them that My name was not Katie, but Chloe, and that – look! This is ME! This is who you have been serving and worshipping. I gave them the chance to serve ME as I truly am.
Not a single one was disappointed. Not a single one turned their back on Me. A few wished I would have told them sooner. But for the
most part, My reasonings for using fake pictures were understood. Some of these subs had spent thousands and thousands of dollars on Me. I was sure that at least a few would be pissed. It was not the case. There was one slave who said something that has stuck with Me: “It takes a true Mistress to show vulnerability. When She shows the slave that one great act, it is the slaves duty to spend the rest of its life repaying that one brave act that She did.” I agree with that completely. (Note: if you are a slave who served Katie that is finding out through reading this, then you were not one of the ones that stuck out to Me that I felt was even worth telling, or I didn’t run across you online because I pretty much just stopped logging into yahoo when I made the choice to be Myself and nothing less).
most part, My reasonings for using fake pictures were understood. Some of these subs had spent thousands and thousands of dollars on Me. I was sure that at least a few would be pissed. It was not the case. There was one slave who said something that has stuck with Me: “It takes a true Mistress to show vulnerability. When She shows the slave that one great act, it is the slaves duty to spend the rest of its life repaying that one brave act that She did.” I agree with that completely. (Note: if you are a slave who served Katie that is finding out through reading this, then you were not one of the ones that stuck out to Me that I felt was even worth telling, or I didn’t run across you online because I pretty much just stopped logging into yahoo when I made the choice to be Myself and nothing less).
There is so much talk between Dommes and subs about fakes. I do not think that I was ever a fake. I was still a true, real Domme, I just hid behind a false image – something that I never intend to do again, because it does not make ME happy. The relationships I had with My subs were and still are real. Despite pretending to be another person, I used My real birthday (however, not age), and all the things about My life on a day to day, things that were happening with Me, I would tell them what was really happening for Me. In that sense, not everything was based on lies – they knew Me, they just had the wrong image of Me.
I am entirely sure that not everyone, and most, will not condone what I did, and many will probably talk a lot of shit. Bring it on. I could honestly care less what anyone has to say about what I’ve done. What I did gave Me a taste of what I wanted, and if it weren’t for that, I am not really sure where I would be right now. It may have taken Me a lot longer to be comfortable with putting Myself out there. I think this is also something that a lot of women don’t think too entirely hard about when they first step into the scene using their real pictures. Don’t do it if you’re not a real Domme. Don’t do it if this isn’t something you want to do for the rest of your life, or at least, for a very long time. Those pictures and videos will come back to haunt you if you want to live a normal, average, vanilla life. Wanna be a school teacher? Think of those kids parents stumbling across your old websites and videos. Want to be a therapist? Think of how uncomfortable your patients would be after watching your small penis humiliation videos. Want to be a journalist, as I once did (and was)? You’re going to be surrounded by people who know how to do their research, and do it well – so watch out. Who knows where the internet is evolving to. There is now facial recognition software where you can look up “like” images – that includes people, faces, etc. Your employer puts in a picture of you and BAM! Oh look, our potential employee is over there waving around a dildo and flipping me off. Great.
With that said, I have considered all of that. I took the path that I needed to take. I came to the realization that I came to only after seriously considering the pros and the cons. My desire to dominate, to be worshipped, to be a part of this scene outweighs the cons for Me. As far as I am concerned, the year I spent using anothers pictures is just a tiny blip in My life of dominating.
But again, I’m still giving Myself mad props for fooling the countless drones.
