I was thinking the other day about conversations that normal unravel during the first contact with a slave. I generally ask them a lot of questions about who they are - but before I even do that, a lot of times they will make comments and almost try to give Me some sort of direction as to how to "deal" with them.
For instance, a submissive saying that they like being tricked, lied to, spoken nicely to, humiliated constantly, etc... These are all minor ways of either consciously or subconsciously trying to influence the Domme to treat them how they want to be treated - not how the Domme wants to treat them.
So let's say you're a submissive and you are interested in serving a Domme long-term. you feel a connection with Her through Her writings, clips, pictures, and whatever else you've been madly clicking around through the great abyss of the internet. Finally, you bite the bullet and contact Her - or maybe you do it impulsively and quickly without a second thought. What are you going to say to Her?
A lot of slaves have had lots of past experience with Dommes. They have an idea of what they're looking for, how they like being treated, and almost have a precise idea in their mind of who the Domme should be.
Let's step back for a moment.
Is this right? Should the sub approach a Domme with the mold of who they want Her to be already in their mind? A lot of subs have served past Dommes who they loved who, for whatever reason, they do not serve anymore - and are looking for that same kind of treatment.
I'm going to use a very mild example here. I was talking with one of My subs the other day about how I was thinking about writing this article. I said, "I was thinking of writing something along the lines of subs trying to top from the bottom."
"Oh," the slave replied, "that has been hashed out so much. So many have written about that."
"Really?" I replied, "Well, how about when you first contacted Me and said that you liked to be spoken to nicely and be able to have a conversation regularly. That was, whether you realize it or not, you trying to control the way that I spoke to you, and treated you. Do you think that things would be the same if you hadn't said that, or do you think that this is just how I am normally? This *is* how I am normally, but you have to wonder whether or not it is genuine because you made that comment in a subconscious attempt to influence Me from the very beginning."
The slave began rapidly apologizing for the statement, and also admitted that it didn't think the subject had been touched too horribly much.
Honestly, I didn't care for the subs apologies and said that. It's not something I believe it was doing because it had that thought in mind. I believe it is habit. The subs who have been in the scene 5-20 years are the very worst at this. I am going to take an excerpt from something that a sub wrote for Me many months ago:
"See, my pattern for years was to meet a new Domme (young and new OR an established one) and “experience” her until I got bored, then move on to another. Beyond that, if it was a newer Domme, I would “teach” Her things, but none could outsmart or outwit me, no matter how many years they had been doing this (although of course i let them THINK they could)…. maybe 30 or more, total, over the years.
But with Princess Chloe, amazingly, I never GOT bored! 1 month, 2 months, 3 months goes by and STILL i was helpless to Her wicked charms and insatiable need to utterly humiliate me on a regular basis. Of course, it was clear that i finally had met a Domme (nevermind a YOUNG one) that could run intellectual circles around me. She had me devoted to Her, even “convinced” me to go into chastity for Her and i was extremely content, however things were NOT PERFECT by any means.
And let me pause here for a moment to say that this blog post couldn’t be more REAL. What i have said, and am about to reveal, is the 100% truth, and once You get to know Princess Chloe, you will understand!
See, i was the classic top-from-the bottom slave. i always would say “but Princess, if You don’t meet my needs, this is not going to work…. can’t You just do this or do that for me?” And of course, many Dommes would do those things, some wouldn’t, but in either case, i would get bored, or frustrated, and leave them since there was always another Domme waiting around the corner.
Although leaving Her was MUCH HARDER than all the others, but after two tries, i finally did it. Fine, to hell with HER if She won’t meet my needs (translation: do what i wanted Her to do, let me top from the bottom, let me manipulate Her, etc. etc.) So i left…
i served a few other Dommes here and there for a couple weeks, but every time i saw that little yahoo pop-up box “Princess… is now online” i would stop whatever i was doing, even if i was in the middle of doing something for another Domme, and notice this nagging feeling deep inside me…. it was really the strangest thing. Then i would open up one of Her pictures, or five, and crave Her wicked verbal abuse and oh-so-creative humiliation for a few minutes until it turned into frustration as i thought “why couldn’t She just do those things i wanted Her to, damnit!”
So finally i decided to email Her to see if maybe She had “come to Her senses” and of course, i was in for a surprise. She basically mocked me, and stated something to the effect of “yeah RIGHT retard, like I fucking want a needy and whiney idiot like you around anyways”…. and ended it with this: [quoted]
“…. there is no other Domme who can get inside of your mind like I can.There is no other Domme who will ever be able to use you like I can…abuse you like I can.fuck you up like I can.And you know how much you fucking like it.you’re just an impatient little fuck who is too self-involved to know what’s REALLY best for him.”
And then She basically told me to “fuck off” and have fun serving other Dommes while i cry myself to sleep thinking about HER.
Now at the time, as i read that, i thought to myself that i DID know what was best for me, and it WASN’T Her, and thought “yeah right, cry for some 22 year old concieted bitch, never!” and dismissed it… for a few days. But Her words kept haunting me, and i DID think about Her as i fell asleep, and although i didn’t literally cry, i did feel this sick feeling in my stomach which grew stronger as the days went by (and if She had not ended up taking me back, the actual tears may have started by now!)
But anyways, i began to focus hard and long every day on WHY i wasn’t content serving Her. And suddenly it hit me. It was because i wanted to serve Her on my terms, not Hers, and Princess Chloe, of course, does NOT put up with that. But wtf, a new, young Domme is not supposed to understand any of this yet, or be that confident yet, or make statements and predictions about ME, a guy twice Her age, that… suddenly, were coming TRUE. No other Domme could get inside my mind like Her, use me, abuse me, fuck me up like Her. She was RIGHT (and i must point out, i never TOLD Her those things… i was “too strong” of a slave!) But She just knew. And She knew something else too. i WAS impatient, i WAS self-involved, and i didn’t know what was REALLY best for me! But, of course, She did.
Can You start to understand the deep levels that this young Princess penetrates your mind? I swear, it almost feels like She has a real power, like She has your brain in the palm of Her hands, and just smiles as She pushes every submissive button She wants, and watches as you fall to your knees and crawl back to Her, desperate and completely humbled. For me, having served as many Dommes as i have (and NEVER writing a blog entry such as this for any of them) it caught me completely off guard, and i felt about as helpless as i’ve ever felt in my entire life, and i am being DEAD SERIOUS!
And then i was broken. i realized that it didn’t matter WHAT i used to want anymore, and that really all i wanted now was…. to just be HERS. i “gave in” to Her. i had no choice! She gave me no other option! It was Her way or NO way, and since NOT serving Her was not a possibility (yes, i NEED Her, i literally felt so helpless and sick, i couldn’t handle it anymore) that i was willing to give up every last ounce of control, and just deal with it. But of course, now i had to humble myself and do the actual “crawling back” part (which not only included a very long letter of apology, begging, and self-defeating lines utterly humiliating myself, but also several hundred dollars of wishlist items!) And LUCKILY for tard, Princess took me back. Of course, She reminded me several times how She “knew i would eventually come crawling back,” and laughed hysterically at how predictable i was. But the funny thing is, only someone as amazing and brilliant as She COULD have made such a prediction, i mean i hadn’t done this for any Domme, ever, in 20 years!
Yes, She completely broke me down and re-assembled me, and i began to accept the fact that i would not be able to manipulate Her into doing anything SHE didn’t feel like doing. There was no more topping-from-the-bottom (or trying to) and i just did what She ordered, took any attention She decided to give me, shut the fuck up and became an obedient, docile, puppet for Her. It’s almost as if i stopped even thinking for myself, or at least of my own needs. And finally, SHE became the only important force in my life.
And then i realized something… it started to feel GOOD, better than when i held onto much of the control in these relationships like i used to, and it totally surprised the hell out of me! i have heard Dommes talk about “breaking down a slave” before but didn’t honestly think that was a literal thing, and certianly not a free-thinking, smart slave like myself. i tell you right now, as God as my witness, this is exactly what She did to me.
So for any of you who underestimate this complicated and powerful Princess (i hate to sound corny using such a fiction word, but honestly, She IS fucking powerful!) you have NO CHANCE retaining any control or dignity once You fall prey to Princess Chloe. Expect to be thoroughly emasculated, completely mesmerized, and utterly helpless, and willing to do anything and everything She commands. But take it from me, there is no better feeling in the world for a loser like me!"
This is an account from a slave who was a classic case in trying to manipulate the Domme and get its way, and be very sly about it. I was on to this from the beginning and specifically didn't give it what it wanted just for that reason. I refuse to ever let the power go to the bottom, and it is something that can be very hard to detect, or be right up front in your face.
I was thinking about new Dommes. I remember My first few days and weeks of being online and talking to slaves. I'm not going to lie or kid Myself. I didn't really know what exactly to do. Sure, I knew how to humiliate anyone, and I enjoyed it. And yeah, I probably sounded really generic in the way I spoke to them at first because I was just kind of feeling things out. I didn't have anyone telling Me what to do, no Domme behind Me saying, "okay, say this now." No, My only contact with the D/s world was the slaves who contacted Me.
I didn't realize then that a lot of them were trying to influence Me to behave a certain way, talk to them a certain way, etc. But since I was so new, I won't lie - I listened to them and instead of just being Myself, I took the slaves advice and subtle pushes in the direction that they wanted Me to act.
I realized what was going on in that respect not too much later on, but it got Me thinking. How many Dommes are a product of the slaves that they first talk to when they are new? How much of those experiences are directly influenced by slaves who try to mold their Dommes into being the Domme that *they* want instead of just accepting the Domme as who She is, and not trying to control Her in any way?
Certainly there is a fine line. And no, I don't treat all of My slaves the same way. The way I treat them depends on many things, but mostly just on how I feel about them.
The point of this article wasn't necessarily to even give My opinion about this whole subject one way or the other. No, the point of this article is to get both Dommes and subs to think and evaluate their relationships. As a Domme, do you feel as though you have let subs influence your behavior, and the things you do for them even though it is very subtle? And as a slave, do you feel that when you first contact a Domme that you already have an idea of who you want Her to be and exactly how you want Her to treat you? Evaluate these questions, because it may turn out that the relationship you *could* have with the Domme would be more spectacular than anything you ever imagined if you just accepted Her as who She is instead of trying to expect anything more or less.
No comments:
Post a Comment